Sacred Motherhood Rituals For Postpartum Healing

A really important way to honor the passage to motherhood is to plan ahead and take care of yourself so that you’re not trying to do everything you normally do on top of healing and navigating your new life. Prepare for postpartum, have a meal train or delivery service set up, and have open communication with your partner and family about expectations ahead of time. Once in postpartum, you can honor yourself and your body by listening to how you’re feeling and acknowledging the changes you’re experiencing.

Women entering motherhood right now will greatly benefit from reading The First Forty Days by Heng Ou. It’s one of my favorite postpartum books for new moms because it goes into the history and postpartum traditions of many cultures versus the United States before sharing why taking care of yourself during this time and eating warm and healing foods is so important. It also has recipes! General postpartum care is so essential. Many people don’t know about postpartum doulas, but in an ideal society, every new mom would have a dedicated postpartum team that includes the OB or Midwife, a postpartum doula, a pelvic floor PT, a trained maternal mental health professional, and a lactation consultant—at the very least—as the standard. A postpartum doula supports not only the new mother, but the growing family as a whole, on the physical, mental, and emotional levels. Doulas are not considered medical professionals, but I’d argue their role is one of the most important—and they are the first ones to spot something when someone needs help.

Mother Roasting is the warming of a new mother to support her healing in the first 30-40 days postpartum. That’s the time frame when it’s most beneficial, but many of the services can be performed well after. The types of services depend on the mother roaster—mine include abdominal press, belly binding, a healing sitz bath or floral almond milk and honey bath, birth story sealing with herbal tea, and some Ayurvedic recipes. There are services similar to Mother Roasting that have been passed down for generations within different cultures, too. It’s important to honor the work that everyone is doing, and it’s especially heartwarming to see amazing women honoring their own culture by keeping these traditions alive and sharing it with other women—so they, too, can learn healing practices from their ancestors. For instance, Panquetzani of Indigemama offers Mexican folk healing with traditional foods and herbalism that she learned from her grandmother. It’s amazing the resources that are out there outside the traditional OB checkup.

Mother Roasting isn’t widely known, but I think more people are learning about some of the services many Mother Roasters offer in the mainstream, like vaginal (Yoni) steaming and belly binding—both of which have been used in Asia for quite some time. It requires a separate training so there are definitely less mother roasters than there are doulas. Unlike doula support, which can still be beneficial from afar, Mother Roasting services really require an in-person only experience.

One of the biggest benefits of infant massage is the respectful connection. With specific massage techniques, parents can help their babies when there is extra gas, tummy troubles, or the baby is feeling out of sorts. Infant massage is also a fantastic resource for healing NICU trauma, helping parents to better connect with their baby. Sometimes parents aren’t sure what to do with their baby in the first six months, and the infant massage baby yoga routines are great for interacting with the baby between reading books and exploring outside.

Yes, it’s absolutely possible for new mothers to feel a sense of nurturing and support right now. A lot of doulas and other service providers are offering virtual services. In terms of preparation, a doula can help ease the stress of getting everything ready before the baby comes—helping pack your hospital bag and ready everything you need at home when you come back. Prior to birth, a doula can talk you through childbirth preparation, comfort measures, birthing positions, lactation education, and more. And, no matter where you give birth, a virtual birth doula can be tuned in with you live during labor and birth. I’m offering a variety of virtual services and can still support the family virtually in the same ways— I just can’t be there to wash bottles and bring a meal and a hug. I’m also honoring the journey of new parents through my Postpartum Prep for Expecting Parents and Postpartum Healing for Families in the First Year online programs. I am so excited to help families navigate their parenting journey through these resources packed with so many expert contributors. Families can hire postpartum doulas and mother roasters for in-person support, albeit with extra precautions. I am still offering these in-person services to families in a modified format where I will only see one client each month, with added safety protocols and ample time between clients to ensure everyone’s safety.

With so much anxiety surrounding COVID-19 and policies changing daily, new families are at high risk for anxiety, depression, and birth trauma. The isolation, alone, has been extremely difficult for new families as they navigate the changing hospital policies, including who can be physically present to support the mom in labor. My advice during these uncertain times would be to hire a doula—no matter if it’s in person or virtual. Postpartum doula support is most essential right now.

I must say one benefit of these times is that new parents don’t need to worry about entertaining others, as is typical during postpartum in normal times, with friends and family eager to visit the new baby. The new family should be resting and nesting for the first 30-40 days, and—despite the downsides to being in isolation—they currently have the space to do so.

I hear a lot of moms saying they wish they had had different types of birth education during their pregnancies—including having known about doulas. Each pregnancy, birth, and postpartum experience is different, so I really try to educate new expecting parents about how important postpartum education is before they give birth. I started doula training during my second pregnancy because I didn’t want to have the same traumatic birth experience that landed me in the ER after my first. During the training, I learned so much that I wished I had known during my pregnancies—specifically perinatal mood and anxiety disorders (PMAD)—that I suffered for years without diagnosis, until I diagnosed myself. I don’t think parents should have to get certified in these areas just to find resources so they aren’t wishing they knew about something three kids ago. It’s really important to get the information out there so that other women don’t suffer in silence.

We can all help new mothers by giving them a space to voice their needs, nurturing and supporting them, and honoring this crucial time in their lives. If you’re able to sign them up for a childbirth education class, infant massage class, postpartum prep program, or some sort of postpartum support, the better off they will be.