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8 Ways to Find Holiday Cheer This Season

Both the holidays and having a baby tend to be experiences of excitement. But this year, for many pregnant women and new moms, the Covid-19 pandemic is creating barriers to the joy of the season and the beloved family celebrations we all look forward to.

“We are all going into the holidays emotionally fatigued and carrying the stress of 2020,” explains Catharine McDonald, MS, LPC, a licensed professional counselor in Glastonbury, CT. “There are many abstract losses—holiday traditions, experiences couples and families want to share with their friends and family, and experiences that won’t be.”

These losses can be profound. “Pregnancy outside of a pandemic is a natural time for women to desire to increase their support network and feel connected,” McDonald says. “The loss of that feeling like a safe choice can bring grief and even depression.”

But just because the holiday season looks different this year doesn’t mean it should be abandoned. In fact, creating a road map now for the months ahead can help alleviate the anxiety of the unknown—and make the timeframe as fun as possible.

Here, where therapists who specialize in perinatal mental health suggest starting.


1

KNOW THAT YOUR FEELINGS ARE VALID.

“This is an unprecedented time and no one has ever had to go through a pandemic while figuring out parenthood in recent history,” explains Jana Glass, LPC, PMH-C, a licensed professional counselor in Sandy Springs, GA. That means that your feelings (of sadness, grief, loss, or more) are all warranted.

Just remember: You’re allowed to feel both grief and gratitude or sadness and happiness at the same time. “Moms can be grateful for their health, for those who she can see safely in her home, and still be upset that this is not at all what she wanted for this pregnancy,” says McDonald.

Accepting all of the differing, sometimes contrasting, emotions you might feel this season can bring you a little bit of peace, experts say.

2

START A NEW TRADITION.

See this year as an opportunity to grow closer as a family and keep generations safe, suggests Corrie M. Avila, LCSW, PMH-C, a licensed clinical social worker certified in perinatal mental health.

Think about what the holiday means to you, what traditions you valued growing up, and what kind of a tradition you could start with your own family this year—whether that’s a Christmas Eve storytime, a walk to see the lights, or a Thanksgiving dessert.

“Instead of focusing on the loss, identify the heart of what is behind a tradition, and incorporate new ways of weaving it into this year’s holiday season.”

3

ORGANIZE A SOCIALLY-DISTANT NEIGHBORHOOD EVENT.

Missing local holiday events and seasonal parties with friends? Organize a neighborhood snowman or paper snowflake making contest (maybe by email) and having families do a walk at dusk to show off the crafts.

“Families may choose to participate in similar activities from a distance outdoors to feel more connected, or schedule treat drop-offs to share in holiday cooking creations,” says McDonald.

Even from a distance, social gatherings can help us feel connected when we can’t physically be together.

4

BE A LITTLE CRAFTY.

Have small art projects set up for toddlers, do a scavenger hunt with young kids, write a progressive story, or grab an Instax camera and document some of your holiday with photos that print out immediately (hanging them up can brighten the space and moods), suggests Avila.

Even if the crowd is smaller, you’ll keep spirits high.

5

WHIP UP A FAMILY RECIPE.

“It can feel very cathartic to enjoy an old family recipe,” says McDonald. “Familiar sensory experiences can release oxytocin and other feel-good emotions.”

Cooking, in particular, is a good place to start due to the aromas. “It is well known that our brain connects smells to memories and by cooking a favorited meal, the nostalgic aroma can bring warmth to our hearts,” says Avila.

Involve family members outside of your home by agreeing to all make a recipe on the same night and then using photos, videos, or live-streaming to make the distance seem less, she suggests. “Both families can cook the same recipe together, laughing, and reminiscing together.”

6

SET UP A GROUP SECRET SANTA BY MAIL.

Print postage from home to save trips to the post office and surprise each other with gifts, suggests McDonald. “This is a really great year to send thoughtful personalized cards.

Many of us feel ‘Zoom fatigue’ and a hand-written letter or card is a nice way to connect and at the same time change things up.”

7

SPLURGE ON AT-HOME COMFORTS.

Everyone is in extra need of self-care right now. That’s why McDonald is urging her clients to indulge wherever possible.

So splurge on that extra nail polish for an at-home manicure, enjoy an organic bath bomb or bubble bath, or buy those boots and take a socially-distanced family hike or walk with low-risk loved ones (and masks!) on the holiday.

“Calibrating expectations is also important, no one’s cup is ‘full,’ right now, but if your cup isn’t empty, you’re doing a great job,” she says. “It’s hard work to maintain wellness during such difficult times, especially through the holidays.”

8

FOCUS ON THE LITTLE THINGS.

Check-in on how you’re feeling a few times a day, move your body, change spaces inside your living area, listen to leaves crunch under your feet, smell the crispness of the air.

“Mindfulness is the act of being connected to the world around you and doing things with full attention,” says Avila. “When you engage all your senses, one at a time, you can experience the relaxation and centering that comes with mindfulness.”

Cassie Shortsleeve is a freelance health and parenting writer, an integrative health coach, a mother, and founder of the new motherhood platform Dear Sunday. Follow along on instagram.

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