This Women’s Empowerment Coach Says You Should Seek Pleasure for Yourself—For The Sake of Your Children

The basis of my work revolves around the belief that life is happening for us, not to us. To live alive and empowered we must continuously meet our fears and anxieties with compassion and love to transform our blocks into creative growth opportunities. I work with women who desire to become intimate with themselves so they can have an intimate experience with life. I support women who want deep soulful love, orgasmic and connected sex, inspired celebratory relationships, a strong connection with their intuition, and a very clear purpose that they express in a way that is powerful and unique to them. My work supports women who want to let go of habits, patterns, and reactions that are guided by fear and anxiety and who are inspired to do the work to show up as their most powerful, sovereign, graceful, real, vulnerable self. We are not all taught as little girls to express authentically. Many of us were put into some kind of system where we were being compared to a certain way of being that did not necessarily nurture our natural interests or gifts. Many of us were taught to show up in a way that makes everyone else feel comfortable at the expense of our own comfort and organic way of developing. Our emotions were stunted and locked away to fester inside of our minds and bodies. Many women learn that making others happy is the most important thing. We are taught to be liked and so we bend and mold ourselves into whatever shape is necessary in order to receive that acceptance and love. Ultimately, we are taught that love exists only outside of us and that in order to get love we need to look for it anywhere else other than inside of us. This is why many people wake at some point in life and wonder why they are so unhappy. At different moments, the women I work with start to realize that life isn’t what they thought it should be or feel the way they were told it should feel. They followed all the “right” steps, did all the “right” things but none of it seems to be working. It is not working because there is one huge missing piece to what we were taught as young ones. We were not taught how to love ourselves. How to give ourselves the love, support, approval, acceptance, and compassion that we are so desiring. This is where I come in. I help women remember who they were before they bought into the illusion that they weren’t enough, before they bought into the idea that they need to look for love anywhere but inside of themselves. I help women learn to create an inner container of safety allowing them to process, feel, and embrace all parts of them. I teach women to alchemize the full spectrum of emotion to allow for true peace, alignment, joy and creative expression in their life.

From my perspective, mothering is very fertile ground for personal growth and development.  I truly see motherhood as a spiritual initiation giving one the opportunity to heal. From the seed of desire to mother, to conception, birth, and the lifelong role of mothering children, one has the opportunity to become the version of themselves that is necessary to allow for children to grow in their organic way. The only way to allow for our children to feel free to follow their own authentic interests, desires, and truths, is to be able to do this ourselves. If we want our children to be integrated beings who are able to meet life open and curious we have to be integrated ourselves. I believe that it is up to us to be a leading example of what true authentic love, joy, and expression looks like when it is sourced from within giving our children the opportunity to find their own way with a safe space to come home to—both with us and within themselves.

Expectant mothers come to me because they want to step into the best version of themselves. They understand that their inner state has a direct effect on their children’s inner state—both from the womb and earth-side. Many times expectant moms are met with fear and anxiety. This fear and anxiety typically stems from being in the unknown and in many ways not in control. When we are pregnant our bodies are creating life in ways we can’t comprehend and this becomes a very raw and tender time for many. The women that come to me during this time want to be able to rest in a place of acceptance, trust, and excitement, while there are so many unknowns that are out of their control.

My work begins with a process called self-mothering. Being the mother to yourself that you needed as a child as well as being the mother to yourself that you currently need as you experience such real and raw emotions on the path of Motherhood. The somatic body based and mental story re-writing practices I teach support women in being able to listen, embrace, and love the anxieties and fear so they are no longer behaving from them. The goal is to create a container of inner support and safety that can hold all emotions as they express, in turn allowing their pain and worry to be alchemized into power, clarity, and a real inner peace with what is. Through the process of self-mothering, women are able to take care of themselves the way they need to be taken care of—in order to show up as the leading example they desire to be for their children. This process leads to true presence, which I believe is important for many mothers.

I feel very excited by the opportunity to help create a new model of what motherhood can be. So many moms before us led through self-sacrifice. When I say self-sacrifice, I mean putting everything else first and themselves last. Many mothers think that being a good mother means not prioritizing themselves. So many mothers think that in order for it to be done right, they need to do it all by themselves—which stems from a place of fear and distrust. I want to change the way we have been taught to mother from one of martyrdom to one of Queendom. I am inspired to support women in stepping into a reality, where their well-being is paramount and primary to having the positive influence and impact that they want to have on their children, families, and projects.

We are born anew when we have children. It can be a very confronting and confusing time where we find that the ways in which we did things before no longer work in this new reality where there are children involved. We no longer have the time or energy to give our attention to all the things we were able to before. The question of “who am I now?” often arises during this time as our homes, relationships, bodies, minds quite literally go through a transformation. It often feels like we become babies alongside our baby. Another thing I see often is women using the Mother title as an all-encompassing purpose. Because the focus—as it should be—is on the baby, everything else can seem unimportant. Things like sex, work projects, and physical activity can fall to the wayside. This is a very magical, sacred, and beautiful time that is also very vulnerable and tender. Many women are not used to touching these emotions and the ways in which they were able to numb or hide before are no longer applicable or available. When we meet new emotions without the ability to bypass, we have to learn how to slow down and embrace the parts of us that were hiding in the closet.

Mama! You are not losing your identity, you are refining, editing, and expanding your identity! Motherhood is calling you forward because you are ready to share your beautiful heart in new and exciting ways.  You are so supported by all the mothers who have come before you and the mothers who walk this path beside you. Take this beautiful opportunity to be kind to yourself, be curious about yourself, and get to know this new version of you. Let yourself be taken care of. Delegate to people that you trust. You deserve to be held during this time—both by yourself and others.  You do not have to do it all! You also don’t need to know everything. Part of the fun is allowing this new self to be born. Take your time, slow down, and make sure you take care of yourself. All will reveal itself in time. Congratulations—you are doing it!

I find that close to the end of year one in motherhood, many mothers are able to pick her head up a little bit and question her greater purpose in life. This happens at different times for different people, of course. It could be that this question comes up much later when her kids start school or are out of the house. There is no real chronological time—it’s more about when she feels the call to express more, be bigger, and step out into the world in a more authentic and purposeful way.

It becomes more important than ever for mothers to have a work-life balance. Oftentimes if their job didn’t allow for this before, I find many moms pivoting into new opportunities and careers that allow for this balance. Motherhood gives many the opportunity to reassess their work situation and if it is in support of the balance that they want to create in their lives to be available for themselves and their families. Setting boundaries in the workplace is so important for mothers who, perhaps, didn’t do so before stepping into this new role. Motherhood also can provide a wonderful initiation to reconnect with or find one’s innate desire to create and serve, while finding the courage to be courageous in sharing those unique gifts.

From my perspective, becoming a mother is like being reborn. In my experience, I found that I could no longer hide from certain parts of myself because my dedication to showing up as the best mom became a priority. That means I have to look at all the parts of myself that need to go in order for me to hold space for this little being. I have found that the foundation for being able to show up for my baby, my partner, my clients, or anyone at all, means showing up for me first. This can be hard when many of us have bought into the belief that a good mother does it all and puts herself last. The purpose of this particular group coaching is to embody the mother in modern times—which can mean something different for each mama. We uncover what it means for you, let go of any limiting beliefs that are not in accordance with that, and step into the world as the powerful mothers that we are, together! We will practice meditation and ritual together, and share vulnerably with each other in order to overcome our fears and blockages, and hold each other in each person’s individual motherhood initiations of the moment. There are four pillars that we focus on in this group: First, self-love and acceptance: understanding that when we can love all parts of ourselves we develop true compassion. We work with our shadow to integrate it. Second, tantric spirituality: opening to the moment. Whatever arises is necessary for us to open up for our own growth. As mothers, we are not the same as we were before and so we have the opportunity to show up differently in order to be the peaceful, loving, kind, receptive, space holder we want to be. It’s a courageous act to open to whatever arises. You will be asked to share personally what is present for you to open into that might be uncomfortable and receive support in opening. Third, practice and ritual: there is a strong focus on practice and ritual as the gateway to inspired action in our lives. For us to be in the listening and tap into our knowing and what is for the highest good of the collective—our baby, our partners, our community, the world at large—and know where we fit into it all. Fourth, authentic purpose: taking inspired action coming from our connection with our intuitive knowing. There is a container that holds each mama in identifying what that purpose is—beyond mothering—and being courageous to express it in her unique way no matter what others are doing or think.